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Faith is a Muscle & Life a Dialogue.
Going from rock bottom, mental breakdown & withdraws, to living an inspired life.
I’ve been drifting lately. Not quite depressed, not entirely all there.
Everything has a season and the rainy season in Bali seems to be the perfect time to drift and dissolve.
There’s plenty to dissolve. The more I watch myself live my life the more I see the ways my past has shaped and conditioned me. The way trauma, pain, and rejection still affect me. The way poverty and the cultural conditioning of our society still affect me.
These are the voices that comment within and the actions I don’t quite think through. . . or I do but I don’t see how all I do is influenced.
It’s good to dissolve, to let the old go.
But it can’t be all dissolution, that’s only part of the process. We need to be able to grow, to become something new.
A couple of weeks ago I asked for more mindfulness so I could get to the bottom of this emotional atmosphere.
I prayed and made sure to adjust my diet, get in protein for acetylcholine, dopamine, norepinephrine, the chemicals that allow us to pay attention.
