Wright Brothers, Guy Deel.

Missing My Plane

A lived meditation on Mercury retrograde, my dad and addictive binging.

Joshua Burkhart
12 min readJul 23, 2019

--

In retrograde season if things go awry it’s time to ask what the lesson is.

For example, I just missed my flight for the first time in my life.

I’ve flown a lot so part of this is a statistical probability but there’s a good lesson here so I’ll slip into confession mode as an example of how Mercury retrogrades work.

My confession?

My compulsive, binging behavior (which flares on and off) is what landed me here, waiting for another flight.

I staid up too late for too many nights in a row and slept through my alarm. Worse, with my sleep-addled brain, I didn’t check in to my flight in time.

It’s not a world-shattering confession but what’s interesting are the lessons beneath it.

Binging has a neurological component.

As someone with bipolar, I’m no stranger to compulsivity or binging.

They’re not culturally associated with bipolar but the data shows a strong correlation between addiction (As well as many other mental health conditions) and compulsivity is a core piece of “bipolar” or atypical neurological states.

The part of the brain that regulates emotional swings is also responsible for responsible choices and regulating behaviors. So if you have some difficulties with the one you’ll probably have challenges with the other.

Over the years I’ve gotten this down from booze binges and cigarettes to the occasional Netflix or video game spree.

This is where neurology meets behavioral conditioning (nature and nurture) as they condition and affect each other.

My recent experience.

What I’ve been binging recently is a video game. I recognized a couple weeks ago, after staying up to 2 am that I had to make some adjustments and for the most part they worked.

I got the behavior down in a way that was acceptable to me but I started noting an inner pressure that kept manifesting in different ways.

--

--

Joshua Burkhart

Transformation coach specializing in mental health, spirituality & relationships — the way we connect to self, society & cosmos. link.snipfeed.co/joshuaburkhart